My Favorite Country Song Titles 

1. If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
2. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
3. If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
5. (Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill
6. I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
7. If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
8. I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
9. Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
10. Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
11. Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
12. You're A Cross I Can't Bear
13. It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
14. I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
15. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
16. You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
17. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
18. Heaven's Just A Sin Away
19. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
20. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
21. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
22. Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
23. It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
24. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
25. She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
26. I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
27. I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
28. If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will
29. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
30. If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
31. Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
32. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
33. The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"
34. Do You Love As Good As You Look
35. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
36. When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
37. My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back to You
38. You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
39. And There Was Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On
40. How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?
41. sample lyrics: I keep on seeing you, day after day.
42. You never leave here, you always stay and stay,
43. How can I miss you when you won't go away?
44. Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You that I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life?
45. He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk

The Ten Commandments of Grits

1. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
2. Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon
3. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits for this is blasphemy
4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Grits
5. Thou shalt only use Salt, Butter and Cheese as toppings for thy Grits.
6. Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits
7. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
8. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.
9. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.
10. Thou shalt not put sugar on thy Grits either.