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- DEFINITIONS
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- Common words and phrases and their true
meaning.
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- Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both
ends and is now growing in the middle.
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Air compressor: a machine that takes energy
produced in a power plant hundreds of miles away and transforms it into
compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips
rusty bolts last tightened 40 years ago and rounds them off.
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- Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
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- Chickens: Critters you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
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- Cole's Law: thinly sliced cabbage
Drill press: a machine useful for suddenly
snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in
the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that
freshly painted part you were drying.
Electric hand drill: device used for spinning
steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age
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- Fence: The difference between one yard and two
yards.
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- Ground Beef: A cow with no legs.
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- Hose cutter: a tool used to cut hoses a half
inch too short.
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- Inflation: Cutting money in half without
damaging the paper.
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- Italiano: Italian for Italian.
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- Myth: a female moth.
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Oxyacetylene torch: device used almost
exclusively for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire, or
for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing
race out of.
Phillips screwdriver: tool used to stab openings
in oil cans or to round off Phillips screw heads.
Raisin: grape with with sunburn.
Tomorrow: one of the greatest time saving devices
of today.
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