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Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred
between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved
submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELING
Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six
unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three
in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman
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Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you
requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of
your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the
3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3
soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid
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Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you
about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my
room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my
medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have
brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on
the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove
them. S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman, My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your
way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the
Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3
complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all
new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Your regular maid, Dotty
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Dear Mr. Berman, The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M.
that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my
apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please
contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between
8AM and 5PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carmen, It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the
hotel for business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only
asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The
new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she
left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular
delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have
accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap
to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you, Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Mr.
Kensedder, My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my
room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call
the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets. S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman, I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids
are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The
situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the
inconvenience. Martin L. Kensedder Assistant Manager
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Dear Mrs. Carmen, Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came
in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of
Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars
of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my
bath-size Dial. S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman, You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so
I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays
you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4
Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your
soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where
you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some
bath-size Ivory which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
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Dear Mrs. Carmen, Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
inventory. As of today I possess:
- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. - On
bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory,
and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. - Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks
of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. - On
northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. - On northwest
corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly
piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a
tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and
will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have
purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault
in order to avoid further misunderstandings. S. Berman
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