POLITICALLY CORRECT WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID

1. 24 cents short of a quarter.
2. A few beers short of a six-pack.
3. A few cards short of a full deck.
4. A few clowns short of a circus.
5. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
6. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
7. A few peas short of a casserole.
8. A few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
9. A photographic memory, but forgot to load the film.
10. A room temperature IQ.
11. About as deep as a saucer of milk.
12. About as sharp as a marble.
13. All foam, no beer.
14. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
15. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
16. As smart as bait.
17. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
18. Bright as Alaska in December.
19. Chimney's clogged.
20. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
21. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
23. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
24. Dumber than a box of hair.
25. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
26. Fell out of the family tree.
27. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
28. Got a full six pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together
29. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
30. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
31. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
32. He is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
33. He only has one oar in the water.
34. He's sharp as a thimble.
35. He's so dense, light bends around him.
36. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
37. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
38. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
39. I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot
40. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
41. If her IQ goes up to 40, she should sell.
42. If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
43. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.
44. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart
45. It's hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.
46. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
47. No grain in the silo.
48. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
49. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
50. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
51. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
52. One taco short of a combination plate.
53. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
54. Receiver is off the hook.
55. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
56. She could hold an in depth conversation with a chair.
57. She doesn't have all the chairs around the table.
58. She's not the brightest Crayola in the box!
59. Skylight leaks a little.
60. Slinky's kinked.
61. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
62. Surfing in Nebraska.
63. Takes him 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes"
64. The cheese slid off his cracker.
65. The gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming
66. The lights are on, but nobody's home.
67. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
68. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
69. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
70. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.