If Bill Gates was a Redneck named Billy Bob Gates....

• Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
• Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
• Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with duct Tape and a Hefty Bag
• Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
• Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
• The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
• Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunken redneck yelling Free bird!
• Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Sweet Home Alabama
• PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
• Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
• Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
• Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
• Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
• New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
• Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
• Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
• Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
• Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
• Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
• Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
• Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
• Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
• Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? it's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back?
• Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad