You Might Be a High-Tech Redneck If...

• If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com."
• If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
• If the sticker on your computer says, "My other computer is a laptop."
• If your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
• If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."
• If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
• If your wife said either she or the computer "had to go," and you still don't miss her.
• If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer.
• If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
• If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
• If you start all your e-mails with the words: "Howdy y'all!"
• You've ever brought your laptop to a Tractor Pull.
• When your friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."
• When you're honked off at your computer warranty because it doesn't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."
• When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
• When your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."
• If you've ever been to "http://www.hee-haw.com."
• When your wife catches you again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
• When you order your new pick-up truck with a gunrack and PCMCIA sockets.
• When, in a pinch, you use your laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
• When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.
• If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone with modem and fax option.
• If you know that NORTON UTILITY isn't a power company.