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The Dating Game Score Sheet
Below are excerpts about how guys can score points (or lose them) from their
gals from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep Score" from Men's Health
Magazine, November, 1996, p 110-115, along with some things that are just
expected of guys, therefore having a score of zero:
Simple Duties:
| You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with
wings: |
|
+5 |
| But return with beer: |
|
-5 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night: |
|
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: |
|
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: |
|
+5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron: |
|
+10 |
| It's her father: |
|
-10 |
Social Engagements:
| You stay by her side the entire party: |
|
0 |
| You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy: |
|
-2 |
| Named Amanda: |
|
-4 |
| Amanda is a dancer: |
|
-6 |
| Amanda has implants: |
|
-8 |
Saturday Afternoons:
| You visit her parents: |
|
+1 |
| You visit her parents & actually make conversation: |
|
+3 |
| You visit her parents & stare vacantly at the TV: |
|
-3 |
| And the television is off: |
|
-6 |
| You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear: |
|
-6 |
| And you didn't even go to college: |
|
-10 |
| And it's not really your underwear: |
|
-15 |
Her Birthday:
| You take her out to dinner: |
|
0 |
| You take her out to dinner & it's not a sports bar: |
|
+1 |
| Okay, it is a sports bar: |
|
-2 |
| And it's all-you-can-eat night: |
|
-3 |
| It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team: |
|
-10 |
| You give her a gift: |
|
0 |
| You give her a gift, & it's a small appliance: |
|
-10 |
| You give her a gift, & it's not a small appliance: |
|
+1 |
| You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: |
|
+2 |
| You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: |
|
+30 |
| You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: |
|
-10 |
| With her credit card: |
|
-30 |
| And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: |
|
-40 |
Thoughtfulness:
| You forget to pick her up at the bus station: |
|
-25 |
| Which is in Newark, New Jersey: |
|
-35 |
| And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: |
|
-50 |
A Night Out with Your Pals:
| You have a few beers: |
|
-9 |
| For every beer after three, |
|
-2 |
| And miss curfew by an hour: |
|
-12 |
| You get home at 3 a.m.: |
|
-20 |
| You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: |
|
-30 |
| And not wearing any pants: |
|
-40 |
| Is that a tattoo? |
|
-200 |
A Night Out, Just The Two of You:
| You go see a comic: |
|
+2 |
| He's crude and sexist: |
|
-2 |
| You laugh: |
|
-5 |
| You laugh too much: |
|
-10 |
| She's not laughing: |
|
-15 |
| You laugh harder: |
|
-25 |
Driving:
| You lose the directions on a trip: |
|
-4 |
| You lose the directions and end up getting lost: |
|
-10 |
| You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: |
|
-15 |
| You get lost in a bad part of town & meet the locals up close
& personal: |
|
-25 |
| She finds out you lied about having a black belt: |
|
-60 |
Communication:
| When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression: |
|
0 |
| When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: |
|
+5 |
| You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television
or picking up a newspaper: |
|
+10 |
| She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: |
|
-10 |
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